Time, Trouble, and Tears
by VickyVicarious
Summary: Shawn and Gus made one tiny mistake, and now they're in big trouble... Written for the three prompts "time", "trouble lurking", and "tears". WARNING - Deathfic!
1. Time

**24) No Time (a)**

It seemed appropriate that Shawn's watch had stopped – after all, time _should_ be stopping right now. He had no use for time, he didn't want it to move…

Shawn wished that time would just _stop_ so he could think, because he couldn't do so with it still moving, not when he had none. If only time was a currency: then he would be able to give up everything right now, sell his soul just to get a little more, because he knew if he had just _five more seconds_ he could figure a way out of this.

But he didn't, and a stopped watch didn't mean a frozen world, and Shawn had to do _something_.

"Wait!" he shouted, and jumped out of his hiding spot. "Wait! Don't shoot!"

A gun swung around to aim at his chest, swiftly followed by an evil grin, and Shawn swallowed hard, for once truly scared.

But he wasn't scared because of the gun pointed at him; no, he was terrified because Gus was still just _standing there_ like some kind of idiot, and now he really had _no time_ because Gus was supposed to run but he wasn't, and if Shawn didn't do something now they'd _both_ die, and that wouldn't help anyone.

He started babbling something – even he wasn't sure what – wildly motioning to the exit with his eyes. His attempts to buy some time – _I swear I'll sell my soul, my life, __**anything**__, but get out __**now**__ Gus, please! _– didn't seem to be working because the man wielding the gun was smirking and Gus still wasn't moving, and there wasn't anyone about to come and save them and everything was spinning out of control, he hadn't known this would happen when he'd come here…

Then there was a _crack_ and Shawn felt something blast through his gut, ripping a violent hole straight through him, what _had_ to be a mortal wound because how could he survive this, seeing Gus collapsing to the ground in front of him, blood pouring out of a hole in his chest, way too close to the heart for comfort, and the damned man with the gun was still _smirking_.

"Ready to tell me what you're doing here, then, or should I just finish him off?"

Shawn couldn't breathe, and maybe time _had_ stopped, at just the worst possible moment, because he was staring at Gus and nothing was moving, and he couldn't hear or see anything but his best friend – his _brother_ – bleeding in front of his eyes because he hadn't done the right thing, and the bastard in front of him knew Shawn cared.

"Hey! Snap out of it, I don't have much time left before I gotta go." The man checked his watch. "Five minutes at the most. So tell me, what were you two doing in here?"

Shawn's eyes snapped back up and he would have moved, he would have gone and tackled the bastard, but his vision was blurring and he couldn't seem to move anything and –

"We just wanted to look around, please..."

"No, you're that psychic, aren't you? The one that works with the police?"

Shawn mutely shook his head, blinking the wetness out of his eyes – he was going into shock, he could tell by the numbness spreading throughout his body and the urge to just let the man with the gun do what he wanted, because none of this was real anyway… but it was, and Gus didn't have time for Shawn to be weak, so – he _did_ tackle the man, a move which took them both by surprise because honestly, how stupid _was_ he, to tackle someone who had a gun?

The gun went off again, but Shawn didn't care, and he wrenched it loose from the other's fingers, spinning it around into his own hands and firing it himself, right into that bastard's surprised face – something which would horrify him any other day (_he'd just taken a life_) but right now he had no time for his own feelings because Gus was still _bleeding_ and god damn it, where was a fucking _**phone?**_

Bloody, trembling fingers pressed four buttons – _9-1-1-SEND_ – and then Shawn started talking fast into the receiver, even before it was picked up, and he was soon yelling at the woman on the phone for being too damn _slow_ and it was only when the phone fell from his hand and the world rushed dizzily around him that he remembered he'd been shot too.

But Shawn ignored the bloody hole in his middle, trying to crawl across the suddenly impossibly long stretch of floor to Gus' body, even as everything lost its cohesiveness and twisted and his insides caught fire in protest and was that _his_ head hitting the concrete floor?

He thought he heard sirens and he hoped that it wasn't a delusion because Gus had maybe five minutes of life left in him if they were lucky, and Shawn himself not much more than that, and they both needed more time, and if only his stupid watch had been working, this would never have happened because he'd have _known _the guy was about to come by, but of course he'd noticed too late, and now there wasn't even the time to be mad at himself because he wasn't sure he remembered why he was mad…

Were those sirens? Why were there sirens?

If he'd been able to stay awake for maybe _five more seconds_, he might figure it out, but he was so… sleepy…


	2. Trouble

**25) Trouble Lurking (b)**

Gus had known it from the moment they entered the stupid warehouse. He hadn't even wanted to come, but Shawn had insisted they needed to visit the place so that he could go through the boxes being delivered and confirm his hunch that there really were drugs hidden in the seams of the coats. It had been Shawn's idea, because, as he put it, "Who keeps winter coats in _Santa Barbara_, dude? There's got to be more to this, and it explains everything!"

Well yes, it did explain everything about their case – finally giving them a suspect and a motive, but Gus was understandably nervous about dying the exact same way for the exact same reason: after all, the drug dealers hadn't shown any mercy before when they caught people snooping around. And those were just _kids_, a couple of teenagers trying to party in an (they thought) unused warehouse. Gus and Shawn were adults, and they'd _obviously_ be snooping, which didn't bode well for them.

But Shawn had explained everything: he'd known exactly what he was looking for and where, he'd dismantled the cameras, he'd parked the car far away, and he had set his watch – well actually Gus' watch, which he'd won in a game of Desk Chair Racing earlier that day – to beep five minutes before the guard came by on his rounds so they would have plenty of time to leave. For once, Shawn had actually thought everything out, and Gus set aside his misgivings because this bust would be their biggest yet – about ten times bigger than even the trop-shop case and _it's_ accompanying drug bust – which meant they would be paid _very well_.

But the moment they'd stepped inside the warehouse, Gus knew something bad was going to happen. He didn't know what, he didn't know when – but he _knew_ something very bad was lurking in wait for them. At first Gus thought he was just very scared, but then he realized it was more than that. He'd never gotten that prickling feeling on the back of his neck before, and he couldn't say he'd been missing out.

He had just been about to yell that maybe they should go, when Shawn yelled, "Got it!" He had shown Gus how the drug packets were sewn into the faux-fur hoods and fleece coat linings, before disappearing behind some crates to put the coats back so they could go.

Gus had _almost_ relaxed, waiting for Shawn to finish re-hiding their evidence. So of course, _that_ was when it happened. There was the _click _of a gun's safety being turned off, and he spun to see a burly man standing there pointing a gun at him.

"Well, what have we here?"

-xxx-

The next few minutes passed very quickly for Gus. One moment, he was standing at gun-point – the next, Shawn was the target, and he was babbling about getting lost and looking for help, motioning towards the door with his eyes, and it was obvious he wanted Gus to run for it.

Gus wouldn't have left Shawn had he even been able to move, but unfortunately before he could do anything, there was a loud noise and suddenly a white-hot fire was spreading throughout his body…

And he couldn't move anymore, couldn't do anything, even though he was pretty sure he heard at least two more gunshots, which probably meant Shawn was dead, but then again so was he (or almost, anyway), and Gus knew he was dying, and something about that seemed a little funny, but it might just be that fact that he could no longer breathe and everything was getting very dark, and he realized all of a sudden that he wasn't going to wake up ever again.

_Damn,_ he thought, _I **knew**__ something bad was going to happen._


	3. Tears

**26) Tears (c)**

He woke with tears on his face, and an IV in his arm.

He didn't remember a thing, which suddenly seemed not so bad when he noticed the bandages covering his torso – not to mention the pain flaring throughout him when he attempted to sit up.

He groaned and froze, squeezing his eyes tightly shut as he tried to deal with the pain. Finally, after several agonizing minutes, the agony ebbed away and he opened his eyes again, breathing shallowly.

His eyes flitted around the hospital room, taking in odd details that he was positive meant something to him – a pineapple on a bedside table, a coat on a chair, dozens of cards, flowers, and even _balloons_ everywhere – but somehow, none of them rang a bell.

Just then, someone walked through the door, only to stop dead in shock – and a flash of recognition passed through him, gone almost before he acknowledged it, and he hesitantly whispered, "Dad?"

The man in the doorway stared at him a moment longer, then slowly walked forward, pressed the call button, and sat down in the chair pulled close to the bed. "Shawn… How do you feel?"

Shawn – yes; _that_ was his name – frowned, confusion filling him. "I – I don't know… I – Gus?" Suddenly panic filled him, though he still didn't know _why_. "Gus, where's Gus?"

"Calm down Shawn, you're going to hurt yourself." His father – he still couldn't remember a real _name_, just Dad – leaned forward. "Just lay back for now, okay?"

Something about the man's gentle tone seemed horribly _off_, but Shawn didn't know why, any more than he knew why he was here in the hospital panicking over somebody named Gus…

The name, even just thought, caused another flash, and suddenly he had a vivid mental image of a man frowning at him…

_"I don't want to go in there, Shawn. I have a bad feeling about this."_

_"Oh, you always say that, Gus! Come **on**__, we'll just be in and out! I swear it by my new watch."_

Shawn shivered violently, a sudden pain wracking through him. "Gus, where's Gus…" He was no longer aware of his father next to him calling his name, or his own body thrashing in his hospital bed, or even the nurse rushing in and hastily preparing a sedative, his mind instead in a world of memories, jumbled pictures and sounds.

_"Shawn!"_

_"I missed you, Shawn."_

_"Shawn, stop it!"_

_"Leave me alone."_

_"I'll slap you!"_

_"I don't want to go in there, Shawn…"_

**_crack_**_ and there was blood everywhere, and Gus wasn't moving on the ground…_

_"Gus!"_

-xxx-

He woke with tears on his face, and a room filled with people.

None of them were talking, all sitting or standing uncomfortably around the room, looking at cards or out the window or at the floor, none of them looking at him or each-other. He recognized his father, but the two other men and women were completely unfamiliar faces.

Shawn watched them for almost a full minute before speaking. "Where's Gus?"

As one, their eyes shot to his, but he didn't meet any of their gazes, looking frantically around the room. "Where is he?"

His father was still in the chair, and he leaned over. "Shawn, calm down. You can't have another panic attack. Calm down. Breathe."

Shawn swallowed hard and tried to follow his dad's instructions, breathing slowly and deeply, but it was _hard_, because he didn't even know the man and every second that went by was one more that contained memories of Gus

_standing at gunpoint, eyes wide and_

_not moving, still staring at Shawn in shock or **something**__ but he should be running_

_towards the man with the gun, because **he**__ was already lying still on the floor, bleeding and Shawn reached out his arms to snatch the_

_"…watch is mine – hand it over, loser!" and he did toss it over, far over Shawn's head, still annoyed that he'd lost, so it hit_

_his stomach but he didn't care, pulling the gun free and shooting it point-blank into the man's face_

_was unrepentant, and he simply shook his head, "It's not really broken Shawn, it just bounced off a wall – I'm not going to buy you a **new**__ watch_

_ on his arm was responsible for all of this; he'd rip it off but he had to dial, he needed to get help for Gus_

_was out of reach, and he was getting dizzy and he couldn't really see, but Gus was even **less**__ okay_

"…Shawn? I said, are you okay?"

Shawn blinked, then nodded. "I – I'm fine. But please, where's Gus?"

The woman by the door chewed her lip, "I'm sorry Shawn, but we can't really tell you; the doctor said…"

He snapped. "I don't care _what _the doctor said, and if you won't tell me where Gus is, just get out, got it – whoever you are!"

He knew he'd made a mistake the moment the woman blanched and whispered, "Whoever I am?"

Shawn squeezed his eyes tightly shut, took a deep breath, then turned to his father. "Dad, where's Gus?"

His father looked at him seriously, ignoring the woman in the background, who was slowly whispering, "Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god…" and being comforted by the other woman. The tall man by the door looked very uncomfortable and sad, and the last man was staring straight at Shawn, a stiff expression on his face.

"What year is it?"

"Dad, where _is_ he?"

His father – what the _hell_ was his name? – sighed. "Answer my questions, and I promise I'll tell you."

Shawn gritted his teeth but nodded stiffly.

"What year is it?"

The answer came naturally. "2008."

His father nodded. "What's your name?"

"Shawn."

His father swallowed. "Your full name, kid."

Shawn nodded, and opened his mouth – then paused. Wait, what _was_ his full name? It took a minute and he had to watch the look of growing worry on the other's face, before the answer suddenly came to him. "Spencer. Shawn Henry Spencer."

His father let out a sigh of relief. "Good. Okay. Do you recognize any of us? Can you give us names?"

Shawn looked over the group again and opened his mouth, then paused for another long, significant moment. "…Well, you're my dad."

"What's my name?" The man's voice was tight with tension, and something that made Shawn instinctively defensive.

"I – look, give me a break, okay _Dad?_ I just want to know how Gus is, we can do the whole psych eval later."

His father groaned and rubbed his eyes. "Shawn, do you even know who Gus is? Why are you so worried about him?"

Shawn blinked in surprise. "Of course I know who he is. He's like my brother. And who _wouldn't_ be worried if they saw their brother just get _shot_ right in front… of…"

He trailed off.

**_crack_**_, and then Gus fell, with a yell of pain and he was already bleeding; it had hit him in the chest near his heart…_

Shawn suddenly looked up and his eyes met the steely blue ones of the man standing at the foot of his bed, staring at him. His heart sank like a stone, and his mouth formed the word, "Gus?" but no sound came out.

The man at the foot of his bed slowly shook his head, and tears sprang to Shawn's eyes before he even understood why.

Then he was shouting, screaming at them all to get out, get the _hell out_ and he wanted _Gus_, Gus wasn't – where was Gus, just _get out and leave me alone_ where is he, he can't be…

-xxx-

He woke with tears on his face, and a broken watch on his wrist.

And when he looked around he felt a stabbing pain in his chest that had nothing to do with the gunshot wound in his stomach and had everything to do with the fact that Gus wasn't there.

And he cried, memories flashing in his head, memories that he didn't understand but longed for and missed and knew would never be again,

_"Shawn…"_

_a fist bump_

_"Oh yes! I beat you again: take **that**__, Mr. 'I can beat you at any video game'"_

_"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom, Shawn?"_

_shared grins_

_"I swear I will hurt you, Shawn!"_

_"Shawn!"_

_"**Shawn?**__"_

_"Let me out of here, Shawn!"_

_"So where were you this time?"_

_"Are we – are we in **Mexico?**__"_

_a swift hug_

**_crack_**_ of the_

_blood and a still body_

_Shawn couldn't get to him in time_

_"I don't want to go in there, Shawn…"_

Shawn cried silently, aware of nothing but the tears and the voice repeating in his head,

_"I don't want to go in there…"_

_"I don't…"_

_"Shawn…"_

-xxx-

He woke with tears on his face, and no best friend.


End file.
